Anonymous asked: when my sister’s friend was 6, she had this hamster and one day she though it was too hot so she put it in the freezer for like an hour then she though it was too cold so she put it in the microwave and it exploded

i let mine go around the table and he ate glitter glue while i wasnt looking rip oxnard

This summer I went down to the shore with my family and asked my uncle to feed my hamster Bertie Wooster while i was gone. I warned him that Bert was really mean and would try to attack him if he noticed my uncle within biting distance, and to wait until he was in one of his tunnels before he put the food in. Apparently, Bertie got the jump on my uncle because when I came home about a week later, there was hamster food and hay all over the floor of my room and the cage was all askew. I fixed it up and everything was fine until a week later when I woke up to find that a tunnel had fallen apart at night and my hamster escaped. I secretly went on a hamster hunt, trying not to let my dad notice what i was doing because he wasn’t a big fan of my owning a rodent. However when he DID end up finding out, and after tracking hamster poo through the house, we pieced together Bertie’s last moments.

We think that after a leisurely exploration of my room and the bathroom upstairs, he tumbled down 13 steps and explored the edges of the living room and the kitchen, at which point my dog noticed the intruder and chased him onto my parent’s bed. My dad woke up in the middle of the night assuming there was a mouse crawling all over him, freaked out, trapped him in his blanket, and literally PUNCHED HIM TO DEATH.

i always get really sad when i think that bertie must have been happy, and thought he found freedom from his tiny hamster prison only to be punched to death by an angry slavic man. it’s very tragic. ;C Even though he was an awful asshole of a pet.